Sunday 26 August 2018

Abridged Too Far? The Cross and the Switchblade: A Play in Two Acts for Three Parts

Characters
David Wilkerson, a skinny preacher from Pennsylvania
Nicky Cruz, a vicious member of the Mau Mau gang
Unnamed Leader, a vicious member of the Bishops gang

Act i

Scene: a typical street in New York City in the 1950s (or the 1970s)

(David has just finished playing ‘Onward, Christian Soldiers’ on the kazoo and is about to preach to the passing masses.)

David
Hie! Listen to me, all and sundry, and I shall deliver unto you God’s Word!

(Nicky struts towards David.)

Nicky
I am a vicious gang member who wishes not to hear the Word of God, lest it prevent me from committing dastardly acts of violence and injecting my veins with heroin.

David
The Bible says, ‘Jesus loves you.’

Nicky
I mean it, emaciated street preacher. Gleefully I shall quarter you if again you spout such nonsense!

David
Even if you were to dismember me, each throbbing, bloody piece would proclaim, ‘Jesus loves you.’

Nicky
Pah! Despite my promise, I shall not cut your frame, for instead your words have cut my soul. I shall take my leave.

David
I invite you to attend a non-cringey evangelistic event at a local arena. Other vicious gang members will attend, too.

Nicky
What’s this? Then I, too, shall attend. I shall bring my best stabbing knife and a foul attitude. I foresee it shall be an occasion to steal some offering money, too. Until then, scrawny one!

(Exit Nicky.)


Act ii

Scene: an arena

(The arena is filled with vicious gang members, of which only Nicky and Unnamed Leader are actually present in this scene. Everyone is wearing flares and bandanas apart from David.)

David
Ho! You vicious gang members—why can’t you just get along with each other?

Nicky
I do not get along with anyone who isn’t in my vicious gang, thin man of God.

Unnamed Leader
Likewise. My vicious gang wants not the likes of him and his cronies in my vicious gang.

Nicky
Why, you . . . ? Prepare to meet your maker!

David
But your maker is already here! Vicious gang members, put away your blades and ruminate on this: Jesus loves you!

Nicky
What’s that? Even me?

Unnamed Leader
And me?

(Nicky and Unnamed Leader drop their knives.)

David
Yes, Jesus loves you both. So come here, kneel, and believe! And then I shall put you on the coffee rota at the nearest church.

(Nicky and Unnamed Leader kneel. David puts his hands on their shoulders.)

Nicky and Unnamed Leader
We feel so clean! Praise God for the words he has spoken through you, our gaunt friend.

The End

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