Book Notice: Super, Smashing, Great: The Theological Legacy of ‘Bullseye’

Here’s the blurb from a book coming out later this year:

James B. Owen, Super, Smashing, Great: The Theological Legacy of ‘Bullseye’ (Clumpy Snodwick, UK: Skybalon Press, 2018), 501pp.

Despite its status as a high-quality end-of-the-century quiz show, Bullseye yields pulsating secrets of the divine hitherto uncaptured by institutional religions and motivational cults of progress. In Super, Smashing, Great, James B. Owen offers a parastructuralistic interpretation of all 354 episodes of Bullseye, moistly demonstrating how the show’s three main contestant-centric sections—‘Bully’s Category Board’, ‘Pounds for Points’, and ‘Bully’s Prize Board’—draw from the Nine Spectral Realms of the One-Eighty Degrees of Divinity. The denouement of the whole show, ‘Bully’s Star Prize Gamble’, in which the great cloud of septua- and octogenarian witnesses participate orgiastically, analogizes the perfect game/perfect score singularity to engenerate the perfect finish, where speedboats, caravans, and family holidays to the Mediterranean converge and apocalypsize to provide eschatological resolution to the Transcendental Clock and its persistent subdivided categorizations. Owen also analyzes the sophianic Bullseye Mantras (including ‘Stay out of the black and into the red / Nothing in this game for two in a bed’, ‘Look at what you could have won’, and ‘You win nothing but your BFH / Bus Fare Home’) to elaborate deftly on how these Enbifrenticastic Changri-doglips relate to late-afternoon rituals on the Sabbath, culminating in the provision of divine nourishment on Willow-patterned plates, and supplies a full transcription of the ethereal majesty of the programme’s theme tune. Super, Smashing, Great is, as its title suggests, super, smashing, and great.

Endorsements:

Super, Smashing, Great makes me want to play darts and get in touch with my inner Bully.

— J. Oche-Wilson, Extinguished Professor of Arrowology at the University of Bishop’s Mullet

I read this book twice in one sitting. I had to. Someone had put glue on my chair and I had nothing else to do until help came eight days later. But that’s not to say this is a bad book. Far from it. True, some of the diagrams showing the Changri-dogliptic correlations to the Karmic Categories of Reward were startling to say the least—who knew Bully could pose so flexibly?—but James B. Owen has done the world a huge favour by writing this handsome analysis. I am certain that the speedboat is mine, and I could not be happier.

— Harrid S-Pike Cleethorpes, Third Wizard Supreme of the Monogonistic Cult of Battery Acid, Stevenage Branch

I don’t know about you, but this looks a bit odd to me.