Friday, 3 February 2017

A short open letter to the Archbishops of Canterbury and York regarding the Second Coming of Jesus Christ

Dear Archbishops Justin and John

I am sure you will agree that the world is now more than ever in serious need of the Second Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

In Holy Communion, the bread and the wine become the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. Has anyone ever given serious consideration to what would happen if every church in the world, whether Anglican or one of the more inferior denominations, celebrated Holy Communion at exactly the same time? Well, I have given it some serious consideration, and I believe that at this point, when each piece of bread, each wafer, each chalice of wine, and each individual cup of non-alcoholic wine or grape juice has been transformed by the Holy Spirit into the body and blood of Jesus, Jesus will have returned.

I suggest that each and every church must celebrate Holy Communion at 10.30 GMT on Sunday, 11 February 2017—just over a week away. Please would you communicate my proposal to each and every church leader in the world, including the snake-handling ones in Appalachia? I should hate for them not to participate, even if it means they will see the Returning One crushing the heads of their pet serpents under his heel.

Yours sincerely

Terry J. Wright (Dr (though not the useful sort, as a friend of mine once said))


  1. There was a genuine chuckle - a LOL - at the final sentence. I remember my Dad explaining his doctorate in similar terms when I was a child. My sister must have taken it on board because she became a consultant paediatrician. I, meanwhile, have a certificate of higher education ��

    Transubstantiation is a very strange idea. But I do 'get' it on a spiritual level. I like the tinkly bells bit. They should have more tinkly bells in church. That is my considered opinion.

    PS Do vegetarians believe in transubstantiation?

    1. PPS The �� is supposed to be an unimpressed emoji.

    2. You know, I've never considered the vegetarianism angle . . .

  2. It's just occurred to me that Jesus hasn't yet returned, so clearly the archbishops ignored my sound advice. Anyone would think they've been involved in debates about other things.