Wednesday 20 April 2016

A New Bible Translation: The New International Feline Version (NIFV)

Professor Snowflake
PRESS RELEASE
20 April 2016

The Feline Bible Society (FBS) is pleased to announce the publication of its new translation of the Bible, the New International Feline Version (NIFV). Recent decades have seen a marked growth in studies of the Bible by cats at both academic and popular levels, and the need for a translation that cats (domestic and feral) around the globe can use was paramount. Professor Snowflake, Chair of the FBS Translation Committee, writes:

The NIFV is based on the Masoretic text of the Hebrew Bible as found in Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia and the Greek text of the Nestle–Aland Novum Testamentum Graece. All care has been taken to translate the original languages into idioms that cats can appreciate as they seek to divide the word of truth aright. Thus John 1:1:

Ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος, καὶ ὁ λόγος ἦν πρὸς τὸν θεόν, καὶ θεὸς ἦν ὁ λόγος.

translates as:

Meow meow meow meow meow. Meow. Meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow. Meow meow.

And John 3:16:

οὕτως γὰρ ἠγάπησεν ὁ θεὸς τὸν κόσμον, ὥστε τὸν υἱὸν τὸν μονογενῆ ἔδωκεν, ἵνα πᾶς ὁ πιστεύων εἰς αὐτὸν μὴ ἀπόληται ἀλλ᾽ ἔχῃ ζωὴν αἰώνιον.

translates as:

Meow. Meow meow meow. Purr purr purr purr purr purr purr meow meow meow. Meow meow meow. Purr purr purr purr purr.

Some passages were, of course, more difficult to translate than others. For example, should the ἱλαστήριον of Romans 3:25 be translated as ‘meow’, ‘meow’, or even ‘meow’? In the end, the FBS Translation Committee decided that ‘meow’ would best capture the nuances of ἱλαστήριον, but thought it wise to include a footnote recognising that ἱλαστήριον could also be translated as both ‘meow’ and ‘meow’. There was also debate about how best to render ἀρσενοκοῖται from 1 Corinthians 6:9. While ‘hiss’, ‘purr’, and ‘grunt’ were all considered legitimate translations, the Translation Committee agreed that ‘meow’ was the least loaded word that could be used. Thus the FBS is satisfied that the NIFV will prove useful for cats everywhere.

The basic edition of the NIFV is available now in all good bookshops. An e-book version will be available from May 2016. Two study editions of the NIFV will be released in June 2016, with a squeaky pink cover for queens and a fish-scented blue cover for toms.

12 comments:

  1. Tired brain trying to think of something suitably witty to leave as a comment. Tired brain fails, but there was a literal LOL as I read this. I will pass it on to my husband, who will surely appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Incidentally, my daughters say "lol" as if it were an actual word. They have also picked up OMG and WTF. I wonder when the text-speak version of the bible will emerge? And why does that sound ominously like something from 1984?

      Delete
    2. The Church is an inclusive body, and now our feline friends can be true catechumens.

      And my guess is that textspeak is pretty much the same as Newspeak. The reduction of language to the bare minimum restricts what is said and what can be said. There's a reason why theology usually isn't done by text.

      Delete
  2. This is the Good Mews. Pawsome!

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  3. Meow. MEOW MEOW hisssss! Yoowwwlll! Meow. Prrrrrrr. Meow?

    Woof.

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    Replies
    1. I contacted Professor Snowflake for a response, which he kindly translated into English for me:

      No.

      Delete
  4. I really cannot agree that 'meow' is "the least loaded word" to translate ἀρσενοκοῖται in 1 Cor 6:9. Professor Snowflake should have considered 'mEow' or 'meooooow' or even 'mwuuuuow' before he (or she, sorry, they) agreed to this wooden rendering,
    'Grunt'!?
    Chera

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  5. Professor Snowflake responds:

    The Translation Committee considered all the possible renderings of ἀρσενοκοῖται, including 'mEow', 'meooooow', and 'mwuuuuow', but decided that these terms were insufficiently nuanced to convey even the semantic range of 'hiss', 'purr', and 'grunt'. However, as feline philology continues to develop as an academic discipline, it may well be that future (revised) editions of the NIFV will add 'mEow', 'meooooow', and 'mwuuuuow' to its list of possible translation alternatives.

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  6. Nice blog post If you are searching for the quality holy bible niv The Jesus Bible merges all four gospels into one story that follows the chronology of Jesus life and ministry. Reading the Gospels has never been so fun.

    ReplyDelete